Psy/400 - The Self

The Self

One of the most challenging questions individuals face at some point in their lives is the one that lies at the very core of a human’s existence. Sooner or later, every person will have to face the dilemma of self-knowledge and self-awareness, and search for answers to the infamous question of “who am I?” Although most individuals spend most of their time trying to please society and fit in amongst peers and colleagues, no true level of success can be achieved unless that individual searches within his or her soul and deep thoughts, in hopes of finding a better understanding and clarification of their own personal traits, characteristics, dreams and ambitions. There are many different aspects that together form the “self”. Self-awareness, self-esteem, self-concept and self-efficacy, combined with the influences presented by the environment around the individual determine how individuals will present themselves in society and how they interpret themselves. 

Self-concept is the way individuals see themselves. There are many factors that can affect that image, some of the most influential ones being the important people in one’s life. Self-concept is what allows individuals to see their flaws, strengths and weaknesses, and as people grow older, that image becomes more specific and clear. It can be challenging to accomplish self-awareness and examine themselves looking for answers and understanding, while at the same time trying to fit in and function in a social world. Society and the environment are constantly presenting challenging situations that demand that the individual finds a way to adapt and respond. One of the main characteristics of the “self” is its capability of self-preservation and self-protection, or in other words, its ability to remain stable and balanced (Myers, 2010). Self-concept can be explained as a collection of self-perceptions, as it is the mental picture someone paints about themselves. 

Self-concept, like many different topics studied by psychology, has been observed in different ways. For instance, a theory known as Social Identity Theory explains that self-concept has two different parts, which are personal identity and social identity. The former includes the individual’s personality traits and the characteristics that guarantee that person is unique; the later, on the other hand, includes all the different groups an individual can belong to, such as school, work, religious groups, etc. (Cherry, 2013). Self-concept should be a simple subject, as it’s all about self-knowledge and understanding ourselves. Technically, it should be easier for us to understand ourselves than to understand those around us, but that is not always the case. I personally define myself in the way others see me: a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, etc. I have a really hard time identifying who I am outside of my social life. 

Carl Rogers, a humanistic psychologist, explained that there are three part of self-concept, which are self-image, self-esteem, and ideal self. Self-image is the way we see ourselves. A lot of times that image is not quite realistic, as people tend to both inflate their self-image, and believe they are better than they actually are, or the opposite, when they exaggerate their flaws and weaknesses and believe they are much worse than in reality (Cherry, 2013).

Self-esteem is how much we value ourselves. There are many factors that can influence our self-esteem, many of them involving the social world. Individuals tend to often compare themselves to others, and that can have a negative or a positive impact. When comparing ourselves to someone and realizing that we can do something better than that other person, that will have a positive impact on our self-esteem. However, when the opposite happens, and the comparison ends up being negative, that can really damage the way we value ourselves. Personally, I consider my self-esteem average. There are days when I feel great about myself, and think that I can conquer anything. On other days, my goals seem so out of reach that I feel overwhelmed, and like a failure. When it comes to my physical image, there are days when I feel good, but most of the time I feel like I’m not pretty enough and should lose some weight. 

The third element in Rogers’ theory is the ideal self, which represents what we wish we could be. A lot of times, the way we see ourselves and the way we wish we would see ourselves are completely different. Most individuals tend to always wish they had more, or looked different, or were smarter, or more charming. It is very rare to find an individual that is completely satisfied with the way he or she is at the moment (Cherry, 2013). 

Self-efficacy is the way individuals believe they affect the world, and the effectiveness of that impact (Myers, 2010). “The ability to undertake and surmount challenges and persevere in the attainment of goals perpetuates a stronger sense of accomplishment and a greater sense of self-efficacy” (Sachs-Ericsson, Medley, Kendall–Tackett, & Taylor, 2011). In other words, the way individuals see their level of self-efficacy is related to their ability of reaching goals and meeting challenges, and how committed they are to succeeding in those tasks. Personally, I unfortunately have to admit that my level of self-efficacy has been very low. I have been feeling overwhelmed with work and school, while at the same time taking care of my family. I haven’t been reaching my goals at work or in my personal life, and things seem to be falling apart around me. Sometimes I just want to give up, although that is not really an option.

There are several experiences that affected my personal development. The first one that comes to mind was moving to the United States from Brazil, by myself, when I was 21 years old. I wanted to travel, meet new people and live new experiences, away from my mother’s rigid watch. I planned on only coming here for six months, but ended up meeting my husband and staying. Leaving my family in Brazil was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but being away from my mother made our relationship so much stronger. We are much closer today than we were when we lived under the same roof, and today I strive to be a good mother like she was, even if I didn’t see it that way when I was younger.

The other experience that affected my personal development was having my daughter, who is now two years old. Before she was born, I was selfish and rarely thought about anyone else but me. She completely changed that, as today I put not only her, but also my husband and my family, in the first place. While before I didn’t really care about becoming a successful person, today I want to be as good as I can, because of her. She made me aware of my strengths and weaknesses, and she makes me want to face my problems instead of running from them.

The self is a conglomerate of several aspects, that when combined create who we are. Even though the self is who we are inside, it is highly influenced by the social world, combined with one’s self-esteem and self-efficacy. The experiences we go through throughout our lives have a meaningful impact on the “self”, as it can be a constantly changing concept. I am always changing and evolving, and my “self” evolves with me. I still have a long way to go before I am completely comfortable with who I am, but I know that I’m on the right track.

References

Cherry, K. (2013). What is self-concept?.  Retrieved from http://psychology.about.com/od/sindex/f/self-concept.htm on August 26th, 2013.

Myers, D. (2010). Social Psychology (10th ed.). New York: McGraw Hill.

Sachs-Ericsson, N., Medley, A. N., Kendall–Tackett, K., & Taylor, J. (2011). Childhood abuse and current health problems among older adults: the mediating role of self-efficacy. Psychology of Violence, 1(2), 106-120. doi: 10.1037/a0023139